What Does It Mean to Be Demisexual?

The world is a platform. We take on new adventures each day, meet so many new people, and feel different emotions. Regardless, who is met, after connecting with them, it might make us feel happy, sad, angry, etc. 

In the sea of different emotions, being sexually attracted is also one of them. Sexual attraction doesn’t only depend on having a charming posture or ravishing personality, it also depends on the conversation shared between two parties. 

 What does it mean to be demisexual?

People are called demisexual when they develop a sexual attraction towards someone with whom they share an emotional connection. These people can be of any gender identity. Demi means half, halfway between sexual and asexual. 

These people can also be referred to as Graysexual, which means to experience sexual attractions on rare occasions and these attractions don’t involve any intention of having sex. 

Demisexual people do not feel any kind of attraction in the first meet. The sexual attraction mostly develops after the second meet, after they get to know the other opposite party and share emotional affairs with them. 

Demisexual can also be referred to as:

  • Gray-A
  • Hyposexual
  • Semi-sexual

What kind of bond is it? 


This cannot be called being in love or to feel romantic. It can be called friendship- including platonic friendship. Platonic friendship means being in an intimate friendship that does not involve having sex. 

Signs of a demisexual

Appearance does not matter 

For many people, the look of a person doesn’t matter in a relationship. But under some circumstances such as that on dating applications, looks matter. More than half of the users’ decision to swipe left or right is based on profile pictures irrespective of their bios. 

In the case of a demisexual, appearance is not the basis of the relationship. Demisexuals choose personalities over faces and are more interested in making real connections based on similar interests. 

Friendships mark the beginning

Not all of our friends can be considered close friends. We get closer to them to whom our personality matches. For demisexuals, it is really important to know a person completely before sharing any sort of intimate information with them. 

So, they end up developing feelings for someone who is a close friend. For them, a relationship begins from a friendship.

Sexual intercourse is not important

We all have our fantasies. For some having sex is important than having an intimate relationship. For demisexuals, sex is not a priority. For them, talking about their feelings tops the list of priorities. Though they do not restrict sex at all the terms, certainly they do not prioritize it much. 

First meetings

The first date with a special person is a big deal for demisexuals. First dates can be huge for anybody, but for someone who is a demisexual, this is a more of a serious take. In this case, one presumably likes to discuss profound points with their date, asks personality-based questions, checks similarity, and doesn’t like to waste time in the first meeting.

But, when someone (demisexual) creates this type of environment on the first date itself, it might turn out to be a negative thing. This might leave the other party concerned because of the intense and interrogative environment the demisexual person will create. 

Being called a prude

Nowadays people who are not active enough in terms of having hook-ups or one-night stands are being called “Old-fashioned” or “Prude”. It may be because you are demisexual. Demisexuals always want to have a strong connection before getting into intercourse with someone. 

Busting myths about demisexuality

Demisexuality doesn’t mean somebody is smug or scared of sex. Demisexual individuals essentially don’t feel sexual appreciation for new individuals. It additionally isn’t identified with a good or strict conviction about sex. It is a sexual direction, not a decision. 

Once demisexual individuals are in a sexual relationship, they have to change degrees of sex drive. Some may engage in the sexual relationship frequently, while others may not. Demisexuality just alludes to the kind of fascination that individual feels, not how frequently they have intercourse.

A common misconception is that demisexual individuals should be infatuated with somebody to feel the sexual fascination. Demisexuality requires an association, yet for some individuals, that can be a dear kinship or another sort of a non-sentimental relationship. 

If you choose to have sex just with individuals you have known for quite a while or have a nearby association with, you are not demisexual. Demisexuality is certifiably not an easy-going inclination: it drives the fascination that precedes sexual experiences. 

Demisexual guide to sex

Though most of the demisexual avoid having sex, at times and situation makes them want to have sex. What to do next?

Are you ready to have sex?

This is such a question, a demisexual may or may not answer clearly. If you are someone who is having difficulties regarding this, then ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing this to please them?
  • Is this what I want?
  • Am I curious to experience what happens during such intercourse?

If the problem persists, then make yourself an imaginary scenario of the same and imagine yourself doing things practically. If it feels right to you, then go for it. If not, you should not go for it. In the end, you and your feelings matter the most. 

How should you prepare yourself for having sex?

You have decided now to give this a go, then it is absolutely fine to discuss with your partner about all the confusion, hopes, or fear. 

What to do during sexual intercourse?

Some people do not like to talk at that time. But you can only achieve an amazing time when you know about the preferences of the other. So, for this, try and ask short yet intriguing questions about different positions or anything else during intercourse and in an exciting tone, so as not to make things awkward. 

The bottom line

Always be proud of what you feel, how you like things to be, and most importantly, whom you want to be with. Sometimes, people spend their entire life figuring out who they are, that they forget to enjoy every version of themselves. 

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