Grief is the outcome to loss, especially the loss of another, to whom a connection or affection was created, or something that has died. Although the emotional response to loss has traditional emphasis, it also has a physical, cognitive, conductual, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimension. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, sorrow is a reaction to the state of loss.
The processes of mourning and sorrow are similar and people from all walks of their lives are encountered in many cultures. Mourning takes place in response to the terminal illness of a person, the loss of close contact, or the death of a loved individual, human or animal. The immense pain we feel can seem insupportable if we lose a beloved one. Complaints are understandably nuanced, and we often question if the pain ends. We experience various perceptions of emotion, such as frustration, stress uncertainty and sadness.
We spend different times working through each step in our deploration and express each stage with different intensities. Contrary to common opinion, there are not always five phases of failure in any particular order. We move frequently through stages until a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us do not have the luxury of time to reach this final level.
What is the five-stages of grief?
Five stage grief is a model given by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in the year 1969, she expresses that the grievance could be split up into five stages in her book ‘On Death and Dying.’ Her insights come from years of dealing with people who are mentally ill. Her theory of grief was regarded as the paradigm of Kübler-Ross. Although this period of grief was initially meant for those who were sick, it has since been adapted for other experiences of loss. The five phases of grief are perhaps the best known, but far from the only famous stage of the theory of grief. There are also many more, including seven and just two stages.
The five stages of grief are:
Every person who is going through some loss may not experience all the five stages nor is it necessary for them to experience the grief stages of the particular order. Every person responds to the same grief differently. Every person’s sorrow varies so that you can begin to cope with defeats in the negotiation stage and then get frustrated or rejected. In one of the five levels, you can stay for months but miss others completely. The following are the stages of grief.
In this theory, the first stage of negating helps us reduce the overwhelming loss of pain. The first response to learning of a beloved loved one’s terminal illness, loss or death is to reject the truth. It’s a natural answer to streamline our intense emotions.
We still struggle to survive emotional distress as we process the truth of our loss. It can be very difficult to accept that in our lives, we have lost an important person, particularly when we spoke to him last week or even on the day before.
As negative and independent masking effects start to wear, the truth and the pain reappear. We are not ready. Our fragile heart separates the strong emotion, transforms it and expresses it as fire.
Wrath may be directed towards inanimate objects, entire strangers, acquaintances or relatives. Anger masks much of your thoughts and discomfort. This rage can shift to others, such as the dead person, your ex or your old boss or anyone else. Rage is typically encountered after a dear one’s loss. We are struggling to adapt to a new reality and probably have extreme emotional distress.
You can feel fragile and powerless during grief. It’s not rare in these moments of strong feelings to search for ways to reclaim control or feel like you can influence what happens. You will find yourself making several “what if” or “if only” comments during the negotiating about your grief with someone. It is not uncommon to feel so desperate when dealing with loss that you are almost eager to do anything to eliminate or minimize pain.
If you lose a loved one, we should consider whatever way to stop the pain or disappointment that we foresee. We may try to compromise in a variety of ways.
During our experience of coping with sorrows, we come to a time when our imaginations slow down and start looking at the truth. Negotiation does not seem like a choice anymore, and we face what is going on. We begin to feel again the loss of our beloved.
As the fear continues to diminish, the emotional fog starts clearing and loss becomes more and more apparent. We appear to draw inside in those moments when sorrow increases. We might feel like we are retreating, less sociable, and less touching on what we are doing.
Accepting is not inherently an improved stage of sorrow or happiness. It’s not about going beyond sadness or loss. But it means that you have recognized and realized what it means right now in your life. It’s not like we experience the pain of loss when we come to an acceptable spot. However, we are not resisting our condition any more and we do not struggle to change it. Sadness and remorse may still be present in this process, but there is less likely to be emotional survival strategies of rejection, negotiation and frustration.
Experiencing loss is a profoundly personal and special experience – nobody can help you to get through it easier or to explain all the emotions you experience. But other people will be there to assist you in this process.
The only thing you can do is to talk to someone, with whom you are comfortable, who you think will be able to understand you. Do not keep your feelings to yourself, it’s only going to depress you more and more. Reach out to anyone and speak your heart out, even if there is no solution to it at the moment, just sharing what you feel, with someone will make you feel better.